My Life Dream Unknown

When did I dream of being a Teacher? Never Ever. I used to play a role of a teacher, when i was in 3rd or 4th grade, as most kids do.

I never thought that there is a teacher building inside of me. I am not sure how can i make this a well paid proffession. I am still struggling in my mind.

I remember a Civil Engineer lady who left the industry and joined my school as a teacher when i was in 11th standard. She gave a short speech about job satisfaction and I was shocked to learn that people could leave high paying jobs for a satisfactory Low paying job. I did not appreciate her. I thought she is too nakchiri (a Snob). How easily she is saying- "I don't like this so i wont do it".

And I remember telling myself that "Life is not that simple, we need to take tough choices and hard decisions, sometimes against our will, to keep ourselves and our families happy".

Turns out, I wasnot wrong! I was right on most part but i forgot to add one thing... "How long can you stick to those tough choices and hard decisions, depends on how strong is your will against your own will."

Today, I have knowledge of Physics/Chem/Maths and Computer Science, Biotechnology being a non-bio student, and currently, I am in an IT Industry. The shock here is that this situation is not shocking at all. As this is the current situation of 80% of the B.Tech graduates.

Why don’t we stop and ask the question - Why are we fed irrelevant data and why we dont get suitable jobs. Why is money driving the souls of mankind. And how are people surviving it.

I really need to understand this, why are my parents not angry or unsatisfied by their jobs. Or if they are, why doesn’t it bother them?

May be it is selfish of me to be satisfied by my Job. Or is it?

I never dreamt of being a teacher. But when I teach someone, I feel i am doing a very noble thing. When I finish teaching someone I feel the power of giving...To be able to give and spread knowledge coming solely from my own mind.

Why should not I enjoy it each day... Why should I punish myself by going to the IT industry every day.

Though, I am still confused-if money is a good enough reason to punish yourself? I will not be able to leave this soul-sucking job beacause i am not strong enough to fight with the people I love. And I dont know how comfortable i will be by- not being able to make enough money for my husband, siblings, my parents ,my parents in law, my children and my dogs.

I am sure the answer is hidden somewhere inside me but as many others i am unable to find it...