Symbiosis, compromise & marriage - are nothing but Synonyms !!!

You already know this!!! You just don’t know yet, that you know this!!!

Let’s go back to the science class:
Remember the +ve –ve charges in a atomic cell? How the positive and negative charges attract and how  two positives or negatives repel each other…? That was our first clue, but we missed it...
So, it starts with the compromise the electron and the nucleus make-> I love you and you love me… but too much attraction can lead to our own crises, let’s be at a safe distance from each other, so that together we can live happily in this social world as we are not alone, we need relatives (other atoms), neighbors (other molecules) and others to share various things (ionic, covalent, co-ordinate etc -bonds).

Well, if you are thinking that life is so big… atoms are just small insignificant things… lets look at planets (big enough ?) The only living planet (known)is earth… let’s look at earth…
The ecosystem  is surviving on nothing but a symbiotic relationship b/w each and everything on earth- on a delicate balance of the +ve’s and the –ve’s between all species , soil, ice, wind, water(liquid), light etc.  We all know the compromise b/w plants and animals-> Plants get the seeds on the ground with the help of animals and animals get happy bellies.

I know what you are thinking …Atoms and ecosystem… blah blah right ? How does it matter to the self developed, most powerful and most civilized organism(or so we would like to think! ) … How does it relate to the everyday life , that “you” are familiar with?

So, now let’s look at Humans… During the course of evolution, we left things that we felt could be compromised… Like we started to stand up, which was a less flexible position, but a better position for mating. Infact a lot of human development of reproductive organs was because of the competition of finding a healthy mate, and we needed to attract more attention to ourselves in order to find a good mate…(Its biology’s only rule: If you reproduce, you are living and if you are living, you “must” reproduce). So, it was a compromise we made with ourselves…

Infact, the genes  (also rightly  called “The Selfish Gene” by Richard Dawkins) choose the mutation suitable for us in the current environment, because it wants us to live and reproduce… But often those mutations which are a result of adaptation today, become a disease of the future.
As Dr. Sharom Moalem asks in her book “Survival of the sickest” :-
If a drug that keeps you from dying today but will kill you in 40 years, will you take it?

So, every mutation in the body is a compromise…
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So, what I learned from Biology, I would like to extend to psychology (because both involve humans):

It looks like all the compromises made in the human body (plants and other animals too) did help them pass on a respectable amount of lifetime without much hassle.

I think that the word compromise has been given a bad rap in the past 50 years or so… Turns out , we are alive because of that…!!!

So, it could, rather it should hold true for all marriages (a symbiotic relationship b/w man and a woman). An effective compromise should be able to produce fruitful results… both biologically and psychologically.

And now the big question:- Can we survive without compromise???

The answer, you guessed it --- Biologically speaking No… In order to survive, we must compromise!!! Psychologically speaking also No… I don’t think that you will die, but you won’t be happy (which is the whole point of psychology)
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Sooner or later, we all realize this… We already know it… we just don’t know that we know it…

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Inspired By: "Survival of the Sickest" by Dr. Sharom Moalem

Being a Girl - A Crime or Curse?

Why is that every time a girl baby is born , I feel sad and my heart sinks ? Why is that even though I want to be a mother to a girl, my heart says, “I hope I don’t give birth to a girl child”. Why is that when I see a Girl child , I feel the need to protect her? Why ? Why am I afraid for them and why is it that I don’t want them to be born into this world.

When my sister gave birth to a girl child and when my brother had his girl baby and every time anyone has a girl child my first reaction is “SHIT”. I know some people might think that its sexist of me or its highly inapt. But the real me thinks differently.

 I think that if a world cannot offer a girl the kind of space and the kind of respect which any human deserves, then why bring her into this world.

Don’t mistake me , I am against female infanticide. But I am sad that that girl will have to face so much misery , sadness, anger,  anxiety and fear only becoz she is a GIRL.

Every girl knows this, that if she is out on the street, she will be stared at. If she is riding a bus, she could be sexually harassed, if she is riding a train, she could be raped, if she is late and alone, she could be raped, if she is fighting a fight, she could be raped. Why is that MEN in our society feel a need to harass Women ? Why?

Why does every girl has to go through all this ? Why ? Is she being punished to the crime of being born in the female body. Is that a Valid crime ? Is this really a crime ?

If not , then why is she being punished ?

Someone please answer me , becoz I remember reading somewhere that during vedic times, women were not treated like this. What happened ? What changed and Why ?

I don’t want to feel sad for girls anymore. I want an answer to the above question so that we can provide the solution to the underlying problem.

If all this is becoz men need to satisfy their physical requirements, then the solution is “Legal Prostitution”.

In my opinion , Rapists are not criminals, because you can treat criminals and there is hope for criminals to get better, but there is no hope for Rapists. Capital Punishment is not an answer for this. Because when they die, they learn nothing and they did not feel or even experienced a part of what the women went through.

The answer to this is – Physical torture performed by the victim of the rape on the convict in public.

The humiliation, with which the girl has to live everyday , the pain of being trapped in a body that was used against her will and the mental trauma which the girl endures and fights and lives with, everyday, for the rest of her life. The scar made, not on her body, but on her soul, remains till her death. No man can understand this but may be , just may be , the girl can find some closure , if she gets to torture the man who raped her in public.

And then, may be, just may be , I will not feel sad when a girl child is born.

Eunuchs in Gujarat busy helping Bihar flood victims

Ahmedabad, DeshGujarat, 2nd September, 2008


Group of two dozen Eunuchs in Ahmedabad has collected 25,000 sarees, blankets, food items such as oil teens, Ghee, wheat, rice etc. for Bihar flood relief. A team of 11 members will leave for Bihar on Friday 5th September to contribute their assistance with two truckloads of goods.

Eunuchs are offered sarees from the people on occasions like child birth and weddings. Thus this group of eunuch already had big collection of sarees. Other things were collected from the people in 15 days hard worked campaign.

Eunuchs from Ahmedabad’s famous Sanju masi group were motivated to do something for Bihar flood affected people after they watched tragic scenes of the flood situation on TV.